In a quite similar post a few months ago, I was trying to put my thoughts together about (not) taking chances for granted after I’ve overcome one hell of an exciting cha(nce)llenge. And despite my silence on this blog recently (for good reasons!), I can tell that I’m facing new beginnings and exciting chances ever since I published this post – in private and professional matters alike.
Thoughtful moments – there are enough in my head. Probably way too much than there should be. And it’s hard to create a blog post entry if you know that this will be open for anyone coming across La Pulcinella.
But what I’m about to write down are thoughts that started growing straight after I published my post about the chances we take and the chances we shall appreciate (but unfortunately often don’t do). While I’m pretty clear right now that this post was mainly focussing on parts of the professional life we all aim to live (or hope to achieve), I feel like I haven’t been too general with my message back then.
Because whether you take chances for granted or not in your career adds to a greater sum, which seems so simple and yet so strong.
It’s actually the way of appreciating things that fall in your hands in life as a whole.
Regardless of whether it might be something related to the professional or private life one wants to live – appreciation is something that I miss. I miss it in my own thoughts as much as I do miss it in other people’s ways of living.
I don’t want to make it a philosophic discussion, thus I don’t blame our generation, the generation before or anyone in particular for this thought. I don’t search for the root of it.
It’s much more something that I just realized at the beginning of the year when I started to reflect quite heavily on my state of mind, which, at the time when that post post (“(Not) taking chances for granted”) came up, was nothing but free(d), light and, much to my biggest surprise, somewhat positive.
And that positivity got surprisingly just underlined, strengthened if you want to say so, as the weeks passed by and I learned my lessons in private life with a beautiful outcome, that still carries me a few centimeters above ground till the second I write this post.
I’m not a happy clappy rainbow cake baking person. Never been, never will. I like to keep things realistic, sarcastic and sometimes just treat them in my general critical sight.
But when I started to internalize my perception of how I handled things in the past and of how we are and shall all (not) taking the chances for granted, I started switching my attitude from “so what!” to “so what?”. From taking chances for granted to just not.
We are all clear on the fact that life can be a bitch. She messes around, she plays with you like you’re the helpless little child, she has no mercy, she pushes the knife in your back when you least expect it or pulls the trigger of the gun when you’re already wounded, crawling on the floor, begging for slight compassion.
I’d like to believe in a thing like karma but sometimes karma just sleeps, does its eyebrows or is not quick enough for us or others to “make things even”. Sometimes, I just sit there and ask myself where the fuck karma is and why it’s so late again like sorry I don’t have the time, karma, you better hurry and do justice.
And it sucks. No, it doesn’t just “suck”. It’s an undefinable sting of bitterness that each one of has had probably already felt in life. Because life is not sorry for you no matter who, where, how or what you are.
When writing this, I can’t even put in words how much I can probably relate to other people’s problems. At the end of the day, we all can do that (we just have to WANT but that’s another story huh ;)).
But whenever I tried to help out with advice or my own simple opinion, I always, deep down, came to a very clear thought that I wish for holding on to in tougher times (there have been multiple in my life, some in the past months and I’m 100% sure the next rough wave is just lurking at the corner for me, ready to break and challenge my power again).
It’s the desire to start or learn how to appreciate things in life a little more again.
I way too often found and still find myself in the trap of thinking “could (have) be(een) better” – regardless of what or who it is, even if it’s just concerning my inner self. While I think that this is probably a good recipe to push oneself to goals one wouldn’t achieve without an inner drill and the desire to go “faster, harder, better, stronger”, I think that making a difference between the things we receive in life is essential.
There are things we can only credit ourselves or others for. These things are rare in their pure credits but they exist. And, fine, in some cases “it” just could have been better.
But what about the simple signs that life gives us, regardless if they might be seen as negative or positive by us or others? Shouldn’t we sometimes hold on and think about what that particular person you met, that particular happening in this moment or an email/Whatsapp message/whatsoever might want to hold for us other than the first impression it gives?
All I want to say is that I like the way I try to start appreciating what is in front of me – much more than what could have been there but is, within the second of its happening, already behind me.
The moment one spends with someone, the phone calls you do with your family, the facetime hours you invest with a good friend, the days you share with another person, the job you didn’t receive but, instead, overcame in its bitterness and replaced with another one which could become even better – appreciate that stuff. Appreciate it. And even if you get something you didn’t want in first place – there’s a reason for it so you better start searching for the meaning and appreciate it.
Life will do whatever it wants anyways. So why do we enjoy reliving, re-discussing and simply milking the negative shit we have to deal with so much if we are not able to do the same with the easiest but most comforting and light hearted things?!
Why can we not just sometimes celebrate the greatness of something (even if it’s small), which makes us content (if not immensely happy… I get that, too)?
Have we really become so unthankful for the good parts of life, let them be as irregular as you/life want(s), that we can’t even see or hold on to them equally?
Or are we just scared to be happy and choose a general negative way of thinking…. just in case life wants to slap us within the second of our positive mindset?!
Way too often we don’t realize that life will hit us one way or another if it really wants to and if it’s meant to happen. But I somehow started to like the way of embracing, enjoying and living positive moments… just as much as I, on the other hand, just enjoy being the sarcastic, cynical bitch I can be.
Embracing the positive part of something, living it and enjoying it as you have never seen a negative thing in life – isn’t that almost an art itself? It’s difficult and I don’t say I can do it because, hell yes, I doubt things as much as I hope for them. But hope goes well in hand with a general motivated mindset. Nobody wants a demotivated one.
And, realize, positivity is the mother of appreciation – even if you don’t feel like you want to bake a rainbow cake ;) (and THAT’S something that will never happen … I leave that to the food and DIY bloggers – promise ;)).