Superwhitegirlproblems.net: Drowning in ironic self-pity about another summer beginning with a classic self-tanning fail and accepting the fact that there will never be a change. Yet, the outfit remained as thought of and thanks to a very kind camera the tanning disaster is perfectly hidden.

Remember my endless blabla about my skincolour and how pale it is (and that’s the reason I’m refusing to put on any pastel colours as you can read here) and how it is actually OK for me? Well, it might be in winter times but God, this thing is going to be a little challenge now that summer is approaching me.

Don’t misunderstand – I’m feeling fine with this type of skin colour (and there is no other type I would like to have) but I wouldn’t say no to that type of skin that gets easily tanned and reaches this NICE shade of looking SUNKISSED during warmer seasons. The effect that “sunkissed” reaches in my case is comparable to the lobster (spaghettis) I had for lunch and let’s face it: It’s not what one calls flattering.

That’s why I came to the glorious idea of buying myself that cheap suntan lotion (WHY? just WHY?) and put it on my legs. I didn’t do that once. I did it twice. Just to make sure that I’m able to wear my shorts the other day without feeling completely alienated.

The outcome? SURPRISE: Huge stripes of orange mixed up with pearlwhite and some interesting other patterns (probably the trousers I slept in!?) decorating my legs. I’m aware of the pattern trend and I think I’m doing a satisfying job with transforming it but can I handle the same kind directly on my skin? NO.

That’s why I saw no other way but to “cover up” (to some lousy extend) when pulling tights and trying to ignore myself (good thing if you are busy the whole day and have no time to look into a body mirror every five minutes).

As I accepted that total fail (and my irony slowly moved in again) my thoughts were pretty much something like “whatever” and I pulled the outfit I originally thought of for that day.

There you go with my alltime-fave cardigan, some old shorts and a very kind camera that did a good job in camouflaging the self-tan fail.

Note to myself: Never ever even think of trying any tanning projects again. You fail for six years now. Deal with it and stop crying over it every year.

Cardigan: Bruno Manetti

Shorts: A&F

Blouse: Ralph Lauren

Bangle: Hermès

Belt: Gucci

Shoes: Zara